indiascribe satire

For ages, Delhi has been trying to get or at least commuters have been pining for an efficient public transport system. The Delhi Transport Corporation, despite two or three name and livery changes continues with all the inefficiencies associated with a public sector operation. The fares are kept low to ensure that it meets the so-called "social justice" objectives. This could range from running unprofitable routes to places where the janta do not believe in paying the fare to the ridiculous pampering of the student community with an all route pass for just Rs 12.50, set way back in mid-1970s! No wonder that the behemoth could never hope to break even, let alone think of making a profit. Into this scenario came the Delhi Metro, a state-of-the-art rail-based transport network that makes it mandatory for everyone using it to pay and travel and no concessions to any sections. This offers clean efficient air-conditioned train service. It may seem to be a relatively expensiv...

Phew! the country's honour has been saved by our good leaders, who are always on the alert against any act that ever so slightly soils our pristine reputation. They certainly do not want the people, who, at the very sight of a raised hemline turn into monsters. So, the cheerleaders have been told to get an extra cover and police voluteering to decide on obscenity levels! The same logic applies in banning advertisements of liquor and cigarettes. So the guys and gals are shown to be getting high on plain soda water or the Red & White guy jumping off a cliff to save a damsel in distress with nary a trace of smoke, let alone fire.Whom are they trying to fool? the people or the nanny State that has brought things to such a pass. For all the trouble taken to keep people away from such evils, does any of it work in actual practice? No is the answer. Otherwise, how do you explain the frequent incidents of misbehaviour with foreign tourists. When the government grandiously touts t...

Finally, Taslima has had enough of "athithi devo bhava" of the "incredible" Indian government. She has decided to choose the cooler climes of Canada or the US than remain in the hot house in Delhi. She feels her creativity is wilting by the day, in fact, every hour she spends away from her beloved Kolkata. Fair enough. Our Taslima may have her faults. She may not be anywhere close to the best writers in Bengali and pushes her point a bit more forcefully than the "Bhadralog" would have liked. But that doesn't quite explain why the left barons felt that she has to be kept out of the city for good with just one loony protest against her. The question is, why should governments turn weak-kneed the moment a mob hits the streets protesting against this or that? Especially works of art, literature or cinema. Instead of laying down the law to protect fundamental rights of speech and action, why should the ill conceived views of a few hold majority opinion...

Fashion shows at one time was all about the latest rage in Paris, the colours, silhouettes and what not. Stony-faced models sashaying down the catwalk, most of the time adorned in outlandish and impossible to wear costumes were the staple of such shows. If something unmentionable was revealed, everyone took it in their stride. All this changed the day Janet Jackson suffered a wardrobe malfunction. The entire global media zeroed in on the incident as if it was the first landing on the moon or a revelation paralleling "discovery" of a lone woman in Mars. The event was analysed as if no one has ever seen such a fixture on a woman in the entire history. Ever since, every media person worth his/her salt has been specifically asked by their bosses to keep an eagle eye on such possibilities. Once it happens, they are to click pictures, post videos and report highlighting it/blurring the strategic part/condemn it as deliberate, attention grabbing tactic. Of course, it is a deliberate...

The problem with cartoonists is that some of them tend to take themselves too seriously. So much so that they end up looking like a caricature. That seems to be what has happened to the old codger in that rotting city by the seaside. One fine day, he throws down his brush and decides to become the self-appointed guardian of his community. He then proceeds to appropriate the legacy of a great warrior and forms nothing less than an army goons and the image of a big cat as the party symbol. Now, finding himself as endangered as the animal on the party logo, he spews his venom yet again at a community that had done him no harm. In trying to regain lost ground from his nephew, he has made himself look ridiculous and out of touch with reality. The world has changed Mr T. Your kind of politics will soon lose out as the country is progressing towards a knowledge based society. Of course, there would be disgruntled elements and people who want to fish in troubled waters. So it would an act of m...

Once upon a time, there was a poor little girl, with no money, no prospects. Then came along a rich suitor, promising to make her rich and famous.Then the rest of the village, who had never helped her when she was in dire straits, started calling it a rape of the innocent and wanted everyone from the government to the most ardent protectors of democratic rights, who else but the left parties to intervene. However, none of them, as on date, has offered to put a penny where their mouth is. Yes, I am talking about a certain news agency which had fallen on bad days, with subscribers, who also sit on her board of directors, ditching her in favour of a rival agency. The agency, formed under a trust act, forbid the board of directors from taking any money away. Any profits were to be ploughed back into the running of the company. Now Mr Moneybags says upfront he wants to maintain the character of the agency, has no plans to close it down or go in for massive retrenchment. The employees, journ...

Our honourable Health Minister. Dr Anbumani Ramdoss, finally decided to put on the white robes and armed with a stethoscope, to treat patients at AIIMS as the doctors, fighting against caste-based reservation refused to withdraw their agitation. This good doctor, like his father Dr Ramdoss, had probably studied medicine on quota seat and after wasting one seat of his fellow OBC candidates, decided that caste politics was much better than treating the hundreds of thousands of poor people. With some luck, this great leader of a regional caste-based party got a chance to join the Union Government and trot out lame excuses like "social justice" to defend the indefensible. Why should there be quotas when even the most die-hard forward caste person is willing to get treatment from any doctor, as long as he or she is good in that profession. Except for the semi-literate politicians, everybody else realises this. It is time that politicians realised that their job is to rule the coun...

some of the interesting slogans from the medicos anti-quota agitation: "Congress ka haath, walking stick ke saath" (in a reference to the HRD Minister who uses a walking stick) " Politicians and police, sooner or later you will have to come to us. We have "reserved" the thickest of needles and bluntest of knives for you" One of the posters show Arjun Singh, Manmohan Singh and Sonia Gandhi as Gandhiji's (the real Mahatma--no relation to the present day Gandhis) three "wise" monkeys. Manmohan with his mouth taped, as he refused to talk to agitationists, Arjun with his ears blocked and Sonia with eyes tight shut.

King Vikramaditya in the 21st century traded his crown for a turban and like a true democrat, presided over a coalition government comprising of various ghouls, loonies, leftovers and the like. He was still trying to get on to his throne but being foiled by the sphinx to whom it belonged but who being a sphinx and a foreigner to boot found it quite unwise to stake claim. Being Vikramaditya, he necessarily had to have a Vetal. This worthy, red of hue and with a vegetable's name, clung to his back at every available opportunity, guiding him away from the path of any sort of development that may improve the situation. If everything was hunky-dory and everyone happy why turn red at all. in a land where everyone else was looking for greenbacks from a far off land, the reds were the only ones who wanted to be in the red forever. Then one of the veteran ghouls suddenly got a brainwave in his hitherto unused brain. He decided, on his own, that backward was forward and immediately announce...