Delhi motorists could teach a thing or two to F 1 drivers

         Well, Saturday we witnessed Formula one driver Daniel Riccardio giving a demonstration in a Red Bull sports car going up and down the Raj Path at 270kmph. Since it was close to my office and in the afternoon around 2.30 pm, I decided to take a look. Walked down to boat club and found an enclosure with several metal detector doorways. Walked through one of them to find that there were no galleries. One could just lean against the security fence with another such fence separating the crowd from the road.

Red Bull, the organisers, had set up huge boxes for the sound system and screens that gave a good view of both India Gate and Rashtrapati Bhavan ends. The compering was done by FM Red channel. The first item was stunt riding by the Ghost riders, a motorcycle team. They did a couple of wheelies, that is lifting the front wheel high in the air and rolling on the rear wheel and then reversing the order to almost stand still on the front wheel. Then a couple of them came to where we were standing and one of them got down on his knees without leaving the handlebar of the bike which continued to circle him.

This particular trick many of us would have done when we started learning to ride a two wheeler. The only difference was that you went flying this way and the bike went that away. The wheelie part could also be achieved by the simple action of giving full throttle and leaving the clutch. The stunt riding failed to impress the average Delhi dude who is used to seeing motorcyclists weaving through four lanes of heavy bumper to bumper traffic, nipping a rear view mirror here and rubbing a fender there and finally coming to a stop dashing against a bumper.

Anyway, the next item was another demo driving by Renault with their newly launched SUV, Koleos. Here again, a couple of cars, snaked across lanes at considerable speed, then one went reversing up the road while another came down the other side. Here again, the average Delhi driver would beat them hollow. Without using indicators and a lazy hand listlessly dropping out of the window, he would change lanes at lightning speed trying to squeeze into all available space, whether he is driving an auto rickshaw or a bus.

By this time, the crowd was getting restive. A little girl perched on the shoulders of a man said, "Papa, ghar chalo, bahut garmi hai", Papa, engrossed in getting a clear shot of the stunts on his mobile phone camera pleads, "Beta ek minat. Keep quiet, thumein ice cream dilva denge, baad mein."

Then the compere said Delhi (men) like three things, "car, kukkad and kudi." Yes, even in these days when "Papa di gaddi" (papa's car, usually ancient Ambassadors and Fiats) has given way to spanking new Marutis, Hyundais, Toyotas and the like. Kukkad of course is the chicken that finds its way into the stomachs of swarthy north Indians in the form of butter chicken. The last mentioned stands for girl in Punjabi, who develop from pretty lasses at 16 to formidable proportions by the time they are 25, capable of bashing up anyone crossing their path.

Well, then the rock music by Indian Ocean fell silent, replaced by an ominous roar, of the car, revving up. We could see it on the screen, occasionally obscured by smoke. Then it started rolling, picked up speed and whizzed past, just a blue blur, that's it. Then I got the hang of it. Instead of facing the direction the car was coming from, you face the opposite direction. That way, you could see it better after it goes past.

Couple of up and down trips, the car stopped for cooling off. The tyres were sprayed with water. But by this time, people had already started leaving despite entreaties from the compere that the event would continue. Again the average dude was unimpressed. What use is this car to him, with no canopy, no airconditioning, no music system, not even a seat for his kudi. To top it all, "kitne kilometre per litre miltein hain, boss?" keeping the all important petrol prices in mind.

But then give the car to an enterprising sardarji. He would use jugaad magic to rectify all the above mentioned shortcomings and make it race down Delhi streets, bibi and bachchas hanging on for dear life, all without helmets, of course.

For all those wondering about the purpose of the show, India is hosting its first F 1 race at the newly developed track in Greater Noida on the outskirts of Delhi on October 30.